IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports is better like tennis and swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis
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Some in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society argue that engaging in
team based
Add a hyphen
team-based
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 ,
for example
Linking Words
, football
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more welcoming than attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other individually played ones .
While
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe both of them are very beneficial, in
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both sides and explain my support for the first view. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking part in
team based
Add a hyphen
team-based
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
. Being part of
ateam
Correct your spelling
a team
 would help players to improve their interpersonal skills.Joining
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clubs or teams provide them with more chance
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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 with other teammates
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help them to
stike
Correct your spelling
strike
 up
nwe
Correct your spelling
new
 friendships.
In addition
Linking Words
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
sports
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less boring.
For example
Linking Words
 , climbing is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 sport that involves corporate and
help
Correct article usage
the help
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 of other teammates and during
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
intractions
Correct your spelling
interactions
interaction
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 of
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 or talking face to face
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 athletes
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
share their opinions which can be really exciting for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
sprots
Correct your spelling
sports
spots
 which are played ,all the achievements are for one person ,and
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 do not share
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 medals. It is important since it is
psychlogically
Correct your spelling
psychologically
 proved that
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more motivated. the source of motivation come is that one person
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 would be acclaimed.For
examp
Correct your spelling
example
;e, in football all players,whether they had
role
Add an article
a role
show examples
 in matches or regardless of
goals
Correct article usage
the goals
show examples
 they scored will be claimed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the same extent. In conclusion, players in
team based
Add a hyphen
team-based
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 not only can enjoy more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 can improve other
interpesonal
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
 skills and find
nwe
Correct your spelling
new
 friends.
Submitted by ghazizadenimaengeneer on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
What to do next:
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