Some people today feel that physical money will no longer be used in the future. Others feel it will still have some uses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, thanks to the innovation of technology in banking, credit
cards
, online banking systems and so on tend to replace paper
money
.
However
, other people think that
cash
could still be useful and impossible to
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
.
This
essay will demonstrate both of those views and my personal
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
for
this
argument. On the one hand, there are several benefits that unphysical
cash
brings to human beings nowadays. First of all, it reduces the chance of receiving fake
money
which
creates
Verb problem
is
show examples
extremely dangerous to people
in particular
, it
also
impacts the economy of a country.
Moreover
, when unreal
money
is brought to other countries, the damage is becoming a worldwide problem.
Secondly
, online banking allows users to transfer or get paid faster than
cash
. It takes only a few minutes to accomplish a transaction
while
it takes days to receive payment in paper
money
.
On the other hand
, physical
money
has been used since ancestors knew how to trade for food. It
was
Verb problem
played
show examples
an essential role in the economic development of the world. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a number of positive outcomes that
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
.
Firstly
,
cash
is a form of payment which is easily used by almost everyone, from kids to elders. It could be tough for kids to know how much
money
they have left in the account to use the
cash
card since they are limited to mobile phone access. There are some situations in
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
credit
cards
can not help their users to process the payment
such
as unstable Internet connection, or broken or damaged
cards
.
That is
one of the reasons why
cash
can not be replaced completely. In conclusion,
while
it is true that credit
cards
are becoming more popular in the market as they bring a variety of benefits to users,
however
,
cash
still plays an important role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in some ways.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses both sides of the argument but lacks a clear opinion. Ensure to include a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement to better illustrate the writer's opinion. Ensure to use cohesive devices to link ideas and improve paragraph development and organization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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