IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think governments should focus on environmental pollution and housing to reduce the number of illnesses and diseaeses. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #focus #pollution #illnesses #diseaeses
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Nowadays, all we know is that environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 and housing has been increasing around the world. Many
people
Use synonyms
 claim that governing bodies have to focus on
problems
Use synonyms
 of the environment and increase housing to minimize excessive detrimental diseases. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint inasmuch as governments have to focus on these main global
problems
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 I believe that governments should address other measures to prevent illness and disease
instead
Linking Words
 of spending time on housing and environmental issues.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, these days, there have been increased
problems
Use synonyms
 with
Add an article
the
show examples
environmental pollution in
this
Linking Words
 world.
Due to
Linking Words
 the technological advancements in today’s world, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are keen on purchasing vehicles as much possible as they can and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
heavy traffic jams can be soared.
For example
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 are driving cars a lot it is more likely affect to the environment. Even though they produce exhaust fumes and increase vehicular emissions that contaminate the air so badly.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
people
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 suffer from several health disorders ranging from anxiety, and asthma to neurological disorders.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are many housing
problems
Use synonyms
 that can be identified in recent times.
Due to
Linking Words
 the rapid growth of the population and the destroying forests for construction.
This
Linking Words
 will have a negative impact on nature.
This
Linking Words
 is because governing bodies introduce new legislation on minimizing excessive car emissions and housing as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are myriad ways to alleviate acute issues in terms of health diseases. First and foremost, environmental pollution and housing
problems
Use synonyms
 are not the only causes of illness and disease but
also
Linking Words
 poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and inadequate access to healthcare are all factors that can contribute to the development of widespread diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governing bodies should focus on combating these issues in order to prevent disorders.
For example
Linking Words
,
For example
Linking Words
, the government can provide subsidies for healthy foods, create public spaces for physical activity, and increase access to healthcare services.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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