IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are better ways. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

When addressing
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
, the notion of implementing
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 globally is often championed as an effective solution.
However
Linking Words
, amidst various approaches, the writer finds merit in prioritizing the adoption of electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 for their sustainable impact, despite the potential benefits of
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
. The utilization of electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 stands as a promising avenue in combating
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. By transitioning to electric transportation, the emission of pollutants, including harmful dust particles, is significantly curtailed, thereby fostering cleaner
air
Use synonyms
. Notably, in Vietnam, the adoption of electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as those from the Vinfast brand, has contributed to a notable reduction in traffic-related emissions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, embracing electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 presents a tangible means for individuals to actively contribute to environmental preservation.
Conversely
Linking Words
, proponents of
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 argue for their efficacy in raising awareness and prompting
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 change among residents.
This
Linking Words
 approach underscores the reliance on gasoline-powered
vehicles
Use synonyms
 as a primary source of
pollution
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 commendable, solely relying on
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 may not suffice in addressing the pervasive issue of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. Alternative strategies are imperative to ensure sustained efforts in preserving
air
Use synonyms
 quality. Green
energy
Use synonyms
 emerges as a compelling solution in
this
Linking Words
 regard. The utilization of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources offers a sustainable and non-toxic means of power generation,
further
Linking Words
 contributing to
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 mitigation. Notably, countries like Germany have made significant strides in adopting wind and solar power, resulting in a marked reduction in smog levels.
This
Linking Words
 exemplifies the potential of green
energy
Use synonyms
 to mitigate
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 on a larger scale. In summary,
while
Linking Words
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 offer benefits in raising awareness, the writer contends that prioritizing the adoption of electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and green
energy
Use synonyms
 stands as
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 sustainable
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 minimizing
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. By embracing these alternatives, individuals and governments alike can collectively strive towards a cleaner and healthier environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction. Define your stance more explicitly and briefly mention the main supporting points you will discuss.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, ensure each argument is clearly elaborated and directly linked to the main topic. While your points are relevant, some sentences seem almost repetitive. Focus on efficiently conveying your message without redundancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, presenting both perspectives before concluding with a personal opinion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Vinfast in Vietnam and Germany's green energy, effectively support your arguments.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: