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Band 6.5

in some countries,more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exersice classses what are the reasons for this? is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exersice #classses #development
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In several nations, individuals who take private training lessons are increasing, compared with those who attend exercise courses or play sports. There seem to be some drawbacks stemming from
this
 matter and it could have two main reasons .
Initially
, it is generally acknowledged that everybody needs to do physical activities to remain healthy and It could be achieved by going to a gym or taking a personal instructor. The major reason leading to private tuition is a tight schedule which brings some limitations to people
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for
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going to the gym or playing sports.
Secondly
, those states whose preference is private courses, tend to have the whole trainer's attention to hit their goals sooner. A case in point is my colleague who started private training in order to reach her desired weight as soon as possible. Probably, the most striking disadvantage of one-person courses is the low demand for gyms which leads the owners to close their business. These places will be useless
due to
 individuals' tendency for personal training.
Additionally
, since all people can not afford private lessons, by descending over the number of gyms these states will not have access to the needed facilities.
Thus
, day by day the rate of the sport falls down and public health standards are endangered. In conclusion, it is evident that time limitation and having a full-attention trainer play a crucial role in employing a private training coach rather than doing exercise; but all in all, it will bring several negative influences for either citizens or society.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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style
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your essay more engaging.
content
Clarify and expand your examples to more effectively support your arguments. Specific, detailed examples will strengthen your main points.
content
Consider addressing the counterarguments or potential benefits of the trend to provide a more balanced perspective.
accuracy
Be cautious with spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.
structure
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the overall coherence and cohesion.
task response
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing reasons for the trend and its implications, showing a good understanding of the essay question.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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