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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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Due to
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 the blessing of technology, the price of cutting-edge devices is more reasonable. With that image in mind,
children
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 nowadays might have their own
smartphones
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. Without any
time
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 limitation, they spend a substantial
time
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 on their gadgets which leads to negative effects, in my perspective.
In addition
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, I will explain the reasons
further
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.
To begin
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, there are several reasons
that
Correct word choice
why
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toward
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apply
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kids spend a fortune of
time
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 on
smartphones
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.
Firstly
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, lacking
the
Correct article usage
a
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 physical playground where they tend to do recreational activities.
That is
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 the prohibition leads to
children
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 being hooked on
smartphones
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 for on-screen entertainment.
For example
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, I technically spent more
time
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 on outdoor activities compared to my nephew . He lacks the playground areas, so he grabs his phone and starts to play games. Another reason
children
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 overspend their
time
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 on
smartphones
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 is the limitation of prevention from their
parents
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. It
also
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 means they are responsible for the
time
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 their offsprings consume on their phones. To illustrate, my
parents
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 used to allow me only one hour per day unless I had finished my homework. These days, because of
strict
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the strict
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 rules from my
parents
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, I am not a slave to
smartphones
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. Overtime consumption of
smartphones
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 has some negative effects on
children
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's life. First and foremost, it apparently wastes
time
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 on unnecessary activities
such
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 as video games or social network platforms. Taking my colleagues who are being addictives to Facebook and Instagram as an example, every working day, I can count they only
spending
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spend
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 two hours on practical work, the remaining
time
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 they search about celebrities scandals on Facebook and doom-scrolling on Instagram. The second harmful impact on
children
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's health is
occurred
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occurring
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, especially their eyes. If they overspent on digital screens they would have eye issues soon, namely optical relations. At the bottom line,
children
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 cannot access their loved playgrounds could lead them to overspend on their
smartphones
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.
In addition
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,
parents
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 do not limit their
time
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 kids' usage of phones is
also
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 a primary issue. As far as I'm concerned, wasting
time
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 and eye issues are the negative repercussions if
children
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 overlook smartphone screens.
Submitted by Hoang Nguyen on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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