IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many offenders commit mare crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #mare #crimes #first #punishment #measures
In
this
 contemporary world, it is undoubtedly true that crime rates have raised all over the world. Criminals who are out of prison after their first punishment often commit more crimes.
This
 essay shall discuss the both problem and measures in
further
 paragraphs and a conclusion will be drawn later on.
To begin
 with, there is an abundance of reasons for the given scenario, first and foremost, offenders are not afraid of the police and going back to prisons as in their first term the mentality of the criminals has changed by living around the criminals in the prison.
For instance
, a person living with a criminal mentality of the person changes and thinks like the other offenders. After completing the punishment they are more involved in various crimes and are encouraged by their partners to commit them. Aa every problem has certain solutions,
this
 can be too resolved by certain steps.
Firstly
, the mob should not be left in jail before their behaviour changes.
Secondly
, offenders must be watched for a certain amount of days.
For example
, if mobs are out after their punishment is over they can be looked after by some officials so they can not get involved in the crime. If they do so they can be arrested on the spot and get locked up again. Agglomerating all the points, the problem of the mob not being afraid of the police can be tackled by the solution, like keeping watch on them.
Submitted by virajmpatel23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: