Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is much in discussion these days that the extinction of rare species increasing day by day. If preventive measures are not taken quickly
this
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could pose a serious threat to our environment.
This
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essay will examine the main causes and possible solutions to
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issue. The two main causes of
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issue are 'Illegal Hunting" and "Urbanization". Hunting or Poaching for meat is the common reason why the
population
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of these species is declining significantly,
For instance
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, In Africa 'Rhinos' are killed for their horns which has high demand in the black market. Because it is a precious material required in the making of medicine in African countries.
Moreover
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, the activity of humans in forests is
also
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contributing to
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problem
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. By cutting down trees to make way for 'Highways' and 'New cities', In order to meet the demands of a growing
population
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. We are destroying the habitat
that is
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necessary for the survival of these beings.
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, there are some possible solutions to
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problem
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.
Firstly
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, creating some type of 'Sanctuaries' or 'Wildlife protection zones where some forest officials are assigned to look after the area from hunting can be a feasible solution.
Secondly
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, Creating awareness among the local
population
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is very important. Local governments should take responsibility by creating awareness programs like TV commercials,
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, The Asian country called 'India' preserves their "Tigers'
population
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by creating awareness through TV programs.
As a result
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in 5 years, they were able to increase the number to more than 5 thousand which left to few hundred previously.
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initiative was appreciated all over the world and became one of the biggest in the history of saving animals from extinction.
To Conclude
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, It is us who is the root cause of the
problem
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and it will be us who will face the
problem
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in future. Together we can work to lessen
this
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extinction by taking strict action against hunters and enlightening people about
this
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problem
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.

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task achievement
While your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay, consider rephrasing for improved clarity. For instance, instead of 'the extinction of rare species increasing day by day', you might say 'the increasing extinction of rare species'.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, ensure that each point is clearly connected to the previous one to enhance coherence. Transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Although you provided good examples, more specific data or research findings can strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing statistics on animal population decline alongside your examples could enhance their impact.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in presenting your ideas clearly.
task achievement
You've chosen relevant examples to illustrate your points, particularly the case of India's efforts to protect tigers, which adds a relatable context to your argument.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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