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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government should be held responsible when problem of homelessness and unemployment arise. Do you agree or disagree

#people #government #homelessness #unemployment
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These days people argue about the responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
. So, some people think that the administration of a nation has the full responsibility to make strong decisions to solve issues regarding homelessness and unemployment. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view and believe that the
government
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 has the ability to sufficiently find ways to reduce these problems. On one hand, the financial situation of a Person is dependent on the individual themselves. If the general public work and study hard in their
life
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, they will definitely be rewarded, and
then
Linking Words
 they can have their own house. For illustration, my friend who came from a poor family
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 started investing in himself and worked hard a long time ago. And fortunately, he
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 a well-paid job and he is able now to live a peaceful
life
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 without even experiencing any hardships.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, houses and japs are the basic needs of living.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should be responsible for providing those basic needs.
In addition
Linking Words
, elevating the quality of
this
Linking Words
 education can
also
Linking Words
 help to create many opportunities. For an instance, if everyone were well-educated, they would be able to build their own businesses, or even they will be qualified enough so
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can find jobs. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the
government
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 should be held responsible for unemployment and homelessness, and
also
Linking Words
 everyone should work hard in their
life
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 so they can live a wonderful
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by louis.pang.sa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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