IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that university students should pay the full cost of their studies because higher education only benefits the students not the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#say #university #students #cost #studies #education #society
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It is believed
by
Change preposition
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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that students in universities ought to pay
their
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for their
show examples
studies’
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studies
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 expenditures because
society
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 will not utilize their education. I mostly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion because
high
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highly
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 educated individuals give
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service
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serve
show examples
Use synonyms
society
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to society
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 variety of areas
such
Linking Words
 as governments and schools and they do some
researches
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research
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 to improve
technologies
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 which may be beneficial for
society
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.
Firstly
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, many graduates from
university
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 take a role in governments and public services. In favour of
to be
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being
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 beneficial for
public
Add an article
the public
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, they are examined by authorities and experts after their
graduations
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graduation
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 and they are assigned many places to
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service
Replace the word
serve
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 citizens.
For instance
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, medical doctors, teachers and attorneys assume
key
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a key
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role
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roles
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 in public
service
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. Their efforts for solving issues and improving education are
considerably
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considered
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 precious
for
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to
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 people.
Thus
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, students’ cost of studies should be paid by
Correct article usage
the governments
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governments
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government
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.
Secondly
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, some
university
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 students are realizing
researches
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research
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 in universities in order to find and develop national
technologies
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. These innovations can ease
workloads
Correct article usage
the workloads
show examples
 of people and they can allocate more
times
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time
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 to themselves.
Additionally
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, some inventions are implemented in public locations
such
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 as free transportation. Apart from these examples, these
technologies
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 are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in many fields for national security. Graduate scientists have advanced new weapons and security systems for possible threats. In short, these are counted as
proofs
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proof
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why
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of why
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society
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 benefits from
university
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 graduates’ studies. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion. Even though
,
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apply
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primary
Correct article usage
the primary
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 benefits of these studies are impacted
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university
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by university
show examples
 graduates, in my opinion, societies utilize them in many areas
such
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 as public
service
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 and
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technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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