People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, as people are exposed to diverse environments and situations, their mindsets on a particular topic can vary.
However
, individuals who find it difficult to adapt to changes are often labelled as "conservatives." Their perspective of the world mainly focuses on stability and the preservation of current entities and objects. Unbeknownst to them, their perception and understanding of life may be detrimental. Problems regarding certain topics,
such
as romantic relationships, work, family, and
overall
satisfaction can arise if individuals do not allow for alterations. When people resist changes in some aspects of life, things can become difficult and uncontrollable.
For example
, when a couple realizes that their romantic relationship has many flaws and misunderstandings that they cannot resolve, the best option is for them to part ways.
However
, if one party refuses to accept and make changes, violent acts may occur
due to
further
disagreements. Refusing to adapt can
also
lead to issues at work,
such
as procrastination in the form of burnout syndrome, or even avoidable fights with colleagues.
Moreover
, it can create rifts in the family through quarrels and inappropriate actions.
Nevertheless
, conflicts could potentially be avoided if conservatives shifted their perspectives to become more liberal and open-minded. By viewing the world as a constantly changing utopia and allowing for some reflection time, they can reconsider their thoughts and seek counselling, resulting in mindsets that will benefit them in the future. In conclusion, people can have different points of view on a particular topic, but they must constantly adapt their thoughts to live their lives to the fullest without any regrets.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion were present, they could be stronger. A more engaging introduction and a compelling conclusion are needed for a high band score.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were supported, but they require deeper analysis and more development. Elaborate on your ideas with additional explanation and discussion to meet the IELTS standards.
task achievement
It's important to provide a complete response to the prompt. The task requires discussing the problems caused by resisting change and suggesting solutions. You touched on this but did not delve deeply enough into the solutions.
task achievement
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task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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