Some people think that hobby is essential for their life while others think that it is just time-consuming. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people

disscuses

Correct your spelling

discuss

about

Use synonyms

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

influensing on his

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and it is should be hard or enjoyable. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Punctuation problem

essay,

show examples

i’m

Fix capitalization

I’m

show examples

going to

discribe

Correct your spelling

describe

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

of this

show examples

ides

Use the right word

idea

show examples

Linking Words

moreover

Add a comma

moreover,

show examples

give my own opinion in conclusion.

Firstly

Linking Words

hobby

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a perfect idea to use your free

time

Use synonyms

for something

interest

Replace the word

interesting

show examples

and fun,

this

Linking Words

will

support

Verb problem

help

show examples

build much

healthy

Replace the word

healthier

show examples

body

Correct word choice

and

show examples

less some

menthal

Correct your spelling

mental

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

such

Linking Words

as depression.

For instance

Linking Words

, Harvard

university

Fix capitalization

University

show examples

reserch

Correct your spelling

research

promoting that

physically

Replace the word

physical

show examples

exercises help individuals with low-level depression.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

hobby

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

skils

Use the right word

skills

show examples

, better to understand yourself, you

Linking Words

also can

Correct word order

can also

show examples

find

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

show examples

or people who share the same interests

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

football teams,

hand-made

Use the right word

handmade

show examples

clubs.

Finally

Linking Words

hobby

Use synonyms

to able be part

your

Change preposition

of your

show examples

life like work or dinner, enjoy your life, even earn extra money and make

business

Correct article usage

a business

show examples

However

Linking Words

, other

peolpe

Correct your spelling

people

frustrating

Replace the word

frustrated

show examples

about

hobby

Use synonyms

and promoting that

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

-consuming because they

too

Verb problem

are too

show examples

busy

for

Change preposition

show examples

take

time

Use synonyms

for themself,

thay

Correct your spelling

they

use

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

for overtime work, family, career or

relatioship

Correct your spelling

relationship

. But

on the other hand

Linking Words

, someone would prefer

spend

Verb problem

to spend

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

watching TV, playing video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

, visiting

night clubs

Use the right word

nightclubs

show examples

making

Verb problem

and having

show examples

party

Correct article usage

a party

show examples

with friends. In

counclusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

Change preposition

show examples

opinion

Punctuation problem

opinion,

show examples

we should spend

time

Use synonyms

with positive

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

does not matter

Verb problem

whether

show examples

have you

Correct word order

you have

show examples

Use synonyms

hobby

Correct article usage

a hobby

show examples

and you like

play

Verb problem

to play

show examples

footbol

Correct your spelling

football

, play guitar

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

you prefer to rest

front

Change preposition

in front

show examples

display

Correct article usage

a display

show examples

Punctuation problem

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

party

Correct article usage

a party

show examples

with

you

Correct pronoun usage

your

show examples

friends

Add a comma

friends,

show examples

you have to love

this

Linking Words

issmailovzp

Jul 28, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Make sure your main idea is clear in the introduction. State your opinion directly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve structure and flow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Check your spelling and grammar. For example, 'discusses' instead of 'disscusses' and 'mental' instead of 'menthal'.

Task Achievement

You have mentioned good ideas about the benefits of hobbies, like improving mental health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion
There is considerable debate over whether family or external factors such as friends, television, and music have the greatest impact on a child’s development. While both play important roles, I believe that family remains the most powerful influence, particularly in shaping a child’s core values and early behavior. However, the growing presence of external influences cannot be underestimated, especially as children grow older.
6
band
Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In recent times there has been a frequently discussed issue of whether watching sports in leisure time is crucial for individuals, or whether it poses some risks. I agree that excessive watching of physical activities has negative Consequences. This essay will outline this phenomenon in more detail, supported by relevant examples.
7
band
In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In recent times, there has been a debate about the curfew force on teenagers in the United States. These curfews aim at not allowing small children to go outside unless accompanied by an adult at certain times.
6
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The growth of the fast food industry has, without doubt, impacted on the eating habits and the health of many societies around the world. Diabetes, high cholesterol, heart and respiratory problems are all on the rise due to fatty and sugar-rich food. However, the question is whether higher tax would improve this situation or not.
7.5
band
In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees that a higher rate of tax should be paid by fast-food companies. Firstly, alcohol and tobacco companies already pay higher taxes; secondly, higher taxes could raise prices and lower consumption.

Some people think that hobby is essential for their life while others think that it is just time-consuming. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?