IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People Say Music is A Good Way Of Bringing People Of Different Cultures And Ages Together. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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There is no doubt that
music
Use synonyms
 has become a part of human activities in various societies for centuries, mainly for entertainment. Some
people
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 consider that it is a fantastic way of gathering
people
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 from all walks of life together. I completely agree with
this
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 notion,
therefore
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,
this
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 essay will
eraborate
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elaborate
 on the reasons
way
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why
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 is important to our civilizations.
To begin
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 with,
music
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 has been influencing individuals in several positive ways for ages. Even though
people
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 are different in religions, cultures, and beliefs, they can bring a sense of happiness and patriotism by listening to certain kinds of
music
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.
For example
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, a national anthem can be used as a device to raise
an
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apply
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awareness of nationalism, especially in Thailand where
people
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 always pay respect to the song, and they stand still right away when it comes to 8 am. In
this
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 way, it brings about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pride and affection among
people
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 in different areas.
Furthermore
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,
music
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 has been regarded as one of the best ways to make citizens enjoy and
assembly
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assemble
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in
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at
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 certain festivals or activities.
For instance
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, concerts and live performances are appealing to
music
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 lovers
in
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of
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 all ages and ethnic groups to participate in
such
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 events, which results in long-lasting
friendship
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friendships
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 or fellowship.
This
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also
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 leads
in
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to
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 a
beter
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better
 standard of living as more and more audiences share the same things they are passionate about. More importantly, sometimes a variety of well-known
performancers
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performances
performers
 have made it possible to assist others who are suffering from detrimental situations,
such
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 as wars,
pandemic
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pandemics
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, and poverty by means of charity or donation. In conclusion, it has been believed that
music
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 is one of the easiest
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
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 which able to make dwellers from diverse cultures and different ages feel connected to others, and I strongly believe in
this
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 viewpoint.
Submitted by keakyenge on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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