Some People Say Music is A Good Way Of Bringing People Of Different Cultures And Ages Together. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

There is no doubt that

music

has become a part of human activities in various societies for centuries, mainly for entertainment. Some

people

consider that it is a fantastic way of gathering

people

from all walks of life together. I completely agree with

this

notion,

therefore

this

essay will

eraborate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

on the reasons

way

Correct your spelling

why

show examples

music

is important to our civilizations.

To begin

with,

music

has been influencing individuals in several positive ways for ages. Even though

people

are different in religions, cultures, and beliefs, they can bring a sense of happiness and patriotism by listening to certain kinds of

music

For example

, a national anthem can be used as a device to raise

Remove the article

apply

show examples

awareness of nationalism, especially in Thailand where

people

always pay respect to the song, and they stand still right away when it comes to 8 am. In

this

way, it brings about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pride and affection among

people

in different areas.

Furthermore

music

has been regarded as one of the best ways to make citizens enjoy and

assembly

Replace the word

assemble

show examples

Change preposition

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certain festivals or activities.

For instance

, concerts and live performances are appealing to

music

lovers

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show examples

all ages and ethnic groups to participate in

such

events, which results in long-lasting

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

or fellowship.

This

also

leads

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show examples

beter

Correct your spelling

better

standard of living as more and more audiences share the same things they are passionate about. More importantly, sometimes a variety of well-known

performancers

Correct your spelling

performances

performers

have made it possible to assist others who are suffering from detrimental situations,

such

as wars,

pandemic

Fix the agreement mistake

pandemics

show examples

, and poverty by means of charity or donation. In conclusion, it has been believed that

music

is one of the easiest

method

Change to a plural noun

methods

show examples

which able to make dwellers from diverse cultures and different ages feel connected to others, and I strongly believe in

this

viewpoint.

Submitted by keakyenge on Sat Mar 11 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some People Say Music is A Good Way Of Bringing People Of Different Cultures And Ages Together. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

In many countries, men and women are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measure do you think might be effective?

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?