IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Due to the development and expansion of supermarkets some local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that closing off the local markets will bring the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #businesses #people #markets #death #communities
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It is well argued that the opening and renovation of big grocery stores is causing small businesses to close and face detrimental effects on the local economy.
This
 essay will explain what are the effects produced by
this
 growing trend and
also
 share my personal opinion about it.
Firstly
, local markets are usually producing items with cultural and historical value based on their traditions.
For instance
, Italy hosts many craftsmen who design and produce
products
 like vases or porcelains with the intention to sell them to tourists and visitors.
Due to
 the phenomenon of globalisation, these
products
 can be easily found in
supermarkets
, and, sometimes, at a higher price.
As a result
, more people will prefer to buy these
products
 in bigger markets because of their wide accessibility and,
in contrast
, local businesses will eventually die.
On the other hand
, the expansion of
supermarkets
 could
also
 benefit the local communities. In fact, they sell food and goods that are imported from other countries and,
therefore
, consumers are able to enjoy new
products
 which were not available before.
For example
, Swedish people may have the opportunity to try a tropical fruit like mango which is not growing on their land.
Moreover
,
supermarkets
 have created new job opportunities. That's because big markets operate on a large scale and,
consequently
, they are able to offer more employment opportunities to local people. In conclusion, even though the development of
supermarkets
 could negatively impact the local communities, they are
also
 considered beneficial as they bring new
products
 which
otherwise
 they could not have.
Submitted by cice on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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