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Band 6

Students perform better in schools when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #schools
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The existence
Correct article usage
Existence
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 of
students
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 is better to form them in a good way with
right
Add an article
the right
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 treatment, whether their achievement or punishment. In
this
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 case, I completely agree with the statement. Giving
such
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 a penalty for
students
Use synonyms
 in
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
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 form is much better with lessons intended in it. Everything that pupils learn from school will always save in their memory, including bad things that they get. One of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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example
Change to a plural noun
examples
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, the most mischievous disciple usually gets different treatment
due to
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 their attitude or other,
then
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 the teacher punishes them by cutting their hair and making them ashamed in front of their classmates.
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Instead
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,Instead
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 they will be afraid and wary, it could be a huge possibility causing them to have resentment towards the teacher.
Therefore
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, a wise punishment will give good feedback too for the
students
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. Vice versa, an announcement
for
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of
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 accomplishment in front of
class
Correct article usage
the class
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 could change another perception.
For instance
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, mostly as a
learner
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,learner
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have a dream to become
as
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apply
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the best
as
Correct word choice
apply
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they can
, by
Add a missing verb
be, by
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 showing them a reward from their mate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be a factor to motivate them if all pupils could do like their friends did with consideration without extremely giving different treatment or turning down the spirit of other
students
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.
Hence
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,
students
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 will not
dubious
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be dubious
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themselves
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about themselves
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 but they will feel more optimistic.
To sum
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up
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,up
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this
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 essay, creating memorable moments is more significant than punishment in a worse way. All
students
Use synonyms
 have the same right and aim to be successful,
thus
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 not only
reward
Wrong verb form
rewarded
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, as long as they show nice progress. Teachers could give a small recognition that inspired pupils to grow to be preferable again.
Submitted by febriantyhasanah on

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