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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic. information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling. etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
Modern
technology
 has now changed the world. The world has come so close that you can do anything sitting
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any corner of the world in the blink of an eye. I totally agree with the statement that it has its own advantages but in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
 we have to face
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 cons, too. Discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
technology
.
People
 can do their work in their homes,
while
 travelling, and doing any other activity. They don't need to dress up properly, travel to their offices, and go through traffic issues that are growing day by day.
This
 can really
helps
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help
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 problem
that is
 causing harm to the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and resulting in global warming.
For example
, during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic online teaching, shopping,
working
Correct word choice
and working
show examples
 from home helped
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 to overcome
this
 problem because the main reason behind it was social contact. So, through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and by the use of
this
technology
 businesses of many
people
 don't stop.
On the other hand
,
this
technology
also
 has its disadvantages.
Firstly
,
people
 will start to have
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
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 lifestyle and would love to work in their comfort zone
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will badly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 their health.
Secondly
, the
people
 will have a very small social circle and they will not like to meet
people
 and spend time with them
that is
 a good form of activity and it releases stress. That's the reason
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
generation Z have more depression ,stress, and mental health issues. To
concule
Correct your spelling
conclude
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 modern
technology
 has its pros but in a long
run
Add a comma
,run
show examples
 it will badly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the lives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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