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Writing Samples
Band 5

The visuals give information about the number of spacecraft launched by various national governments between 1957 and 2007 and the purpose of each mission

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The provided charts indicate the amount of spacecraft and the reasons for them being launched by different countries during a 50-year period between 1957 and 2007.
Overall
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, the vast majority of space missions were launched by the Soviet Union/Russia. The main purpose of all the launches was communicating. It is apparent that 3484 satellites were launched by the Soviet Union/
Russian
Replace the word
Russia
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 accounting for more than half of the total and approximately doubling the USA data.
Additionally
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, 1760 launches were performed by the USA which is more than the data for all other countries excluding the USSR/Russian Federation.
On the other hand
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, there were only 28 launches by Canada which is approximately ten times fewer than those by the EU. More than half of the launches were performed for communicating and surveillance satellites
while
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 the least popular purpose was planetary exploration with only 5 per cent of the total. It is
also
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 noticeable, that the combined percentage of manned space programs, weather observation and planetary exploration is only 18 per cent which is less than the percentage of surveillance satellites or the percentage of communications. In conclusion, the vast majority of space missions were launched by the Soviet Union/Russia. The main purpose of all the launches was communicating.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data points to broaden the achievement of the task.
task achievement
Clarify some of the points to enhance comprehensibility.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported, providing an overview of data.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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