IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that old buildings should be replaced with more modern ones. Other people argue that we should protect old buildings because they have a special value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many old
buildings
Use synonyms
 are demolished nowadays
due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various reasons, the proponents believe that
such
Linking Words
 phenomena could benefit the local areas, be it the improvement of
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 image, and the prevention of safety hazards.
However
Linking Words
, I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 agree that the value of
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 building should not be overlooked, since it could
passing
Change the verb form
pass
be passing
show examples
 down the culture to the next generation. First of all, old
buildings
Use synonyms
 could restrict cities from making progress,
such
Linking Words
 as the public transportation which could be
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 on those
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, or the
eletrical
Correct your spelling
electrical
 system which could be more powerful and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 if it could
united
Change the verb form
be united
unite
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Paris, the city was designed for small
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 which
buildings
Use synonyms
are build
Change the verb form
are built
show examples
 side by side in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 shape of
snail
Add an article
a snail
show examples
, which is hard for giant transports,
such
Linking Words
 as buses,
passing
Change the verb form
to pass
show examples
 by,
moreover
Linking Words
, the majorities of houses in
paris
Change the capitalization
Paris
show examples
 are old and have problems of electricity supply from time to time
due to
Linking Words
 the systems are not organized.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are perspectives
suggest
Correct pronoun usage
that suggest
show examples
 that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 are worth to be reserved to remind us
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 life of
ancestors
Correct pronoun usage
our ancestors
show examples
. Take one of the traditional houses in Taiwan as an example, three or four
housee
Correct your spelling
houses
are build
Change the verb form
are built
are building
show examples
 together to create an open space in the middle for
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
 members to conduct various activities. In my opinion, despite the fact that it is important to catch up
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 trend to remain competitive in an era of globalisation, I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the
necessarity
Correct your spelling
necessity
necessary
 of keeping old
buildings
Use synonyms
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern constructions make life more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
, only the traditional
accomandations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
 could convey the distinct of a region.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some
peopole
Correct your spelling
people
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that it is unnecessary to affect the progress of societies by
reserveing
Correct your spelling
reserving
preserving
 old
buildings
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others
holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opposite opinion since those could make distinct in a region.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my
perspectice
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I believe the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of keeping the old building could overweight the downside.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: