Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #peoples #country

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It can be argued that multicultural

societies

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where you can find

people

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from different backgrounds have more positive effects than negative effects on a

country

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. In my point of view, I completely agree with

this

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statement because multiculturalism

made

Wrong verb form

makes

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people

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and countries closer to each other. The purpose of

this

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essay is to discuss why I am inclined to

this

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opinion.

To begin

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, there are many various cultures around the world, and having a society that can combine some of them will definitely benefit the

country

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and the citizens.

For example

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people

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will be more open-minded about educating their selves about new cultures.

Furthermore

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, it can help citizens to have friends from other ethnic backgrounds.

However

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, one of the key benefits of multiculturalism is that

people

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can share useful information that could help with the

country

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’s development.

On the other hand

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, no one can deny that there is a decrease in the general rates of discrimination in multicultural

societies

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in comparison with other

societies

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In other words

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people

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are becoming more accepting and educated about different races because children in these

societies

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are growing up, knowing and respecting other kids from other countries and races.

Nevertheless

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, it can

also

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help improve the

country

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by having skilled workers who know how to do their jobs perfectly. A good example of

this

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is provided by Kuwait which hosts

people

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from all over the world and gives them the opportunity to work which resulted in a huge development in the

country

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. In

the

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apply

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conclusion,

to sum up

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, I would like to reiterate my opinion that multiculturalism has numerous advantages to the

country

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and individuals.

Submitted by Retaaji72 on Sun Mar 12 2023

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task response

Your opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay, which shows a good level of task response. However, make sure to address the opposing viewpoint as well to achieve a higher score in task response.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured and organized, but there are some areas where the logical structure could be improved. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that they are logically linked together to improve coherence.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, as role models, famous people have an increasing influence on the young. Is it a positive or negative development?

People should stop using their mobile phone when they are with other people. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or the same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?