Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?
It can be argued that multicultural
societies
where you can find people
from different backgrounds have more positive effects than negative effects on a country
. In my point of view, I completely agree with this
statement because multiculturalism made
Wrong verb form
makes
people
and countries closer to each other. The purpose of this
essay is to discuss why I am inclined to this
opinion.
To begin
, there are many various cultures around the world, and having a society that can combine some of them will definitely benefit the country
and the citizens. For example
, people
will be more open-minded about educating their selves about new cultures. Furthermore
, it can help citizens to have friends from other ethnic backgrounds. However
, one of the key benefits of multiculturalism is that people
can share useful information that could help with the country
’s development.
On the other hand
, no one can deny that there is a decrease in the general rates of discrimination in multicultural societies
in comparison with other societies
. In other words
, people
are becoming more accepting and educated about different races because children in these societies
are growing up, knowing and respecting other kids from other countries and races. Nevertheless
, it can also
help improve the country
by having skilled workers who know how to do their jobs perfectly. A good example of this
is provided by Kuwait which hosts people
from all over the world and gives them the opportunity to work which resulted in a huge development in the country
.
In the
conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
to sum up
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that multiculturalism has numerous advantages to the country
and individuals.Submitted by Retaaji72 on
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task response
Your opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay, which shows a good level of task response. However, make sure to address the opposing viewpoint as well to achieve a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured and organized, but there are some areas where the logical structure could be improved. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that they are logically linked together to improve coherence.
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