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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people claim that government is responsible for obesity in children do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #obesity #children
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In today's modern world, one of the controversial issues among people is getting weight.In many societies,
this
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 phenomenon has become widely common. some communities claim that
government
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 has the responsibility for controlling these difficulties. In
this
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 regard, I strongly disagree with
this
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 point for a number of reasons which are discussed in the following paragraphs. Children are getting obese because of many reasons.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the high cost of living ,most parents should work outside.
Therefore
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, they don't have enough
time
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 for making healthy food.
As a result
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,they prefer to order fast food or go to a restaurant.
Moreover
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, because of the high progress in Technology, children prefer to spend their
time
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 with their devices which is related to the Internet.
Thus
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, most of the
time
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, they don't have movement and stay at their homes and play with their devices
instead
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 of physically playing .
Secondly
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, parents and schools have massive responsibilities for controlling their diet because they are in a direct relationship with them. Most learners spend half of their
time
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 at school and half of their
time
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 at their home. So, the
government
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 is not in a close relationship with them.The responsibilities of the
government
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 are dedicated to protecting their health and setting rules for staying healthy.
In addition
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, the
government
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 cannot ban eating some delicious food or stop using the Internet. In conclusion, for the number of reasons mentioned above, in my opinion, the
government
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 is not responsible for obesity in children.The
government
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's responsibilities are related to setting rules for staying healthy.
This
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 is a key role that parents should be played .
Submitted by saraseifi2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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