Some people believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#people #tv #computer #games #books

nowadays the consumption of media and playing computer

games

increase significantly

while

some groups have a negative attitude towards that and say we should alternate by encouraging people to read

books

. in

this

essay, I want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of these opinions and in conclusion, I say my opinion. on the one hand, there are those who

subdcribes

Correct your spelling

subscribes

this

view that there are some merits to

usage

Add an article

the usage

show examples

of media and playing computers. from

this

point of view, they believe there are several

games

or tv programs that they have to think about that and it has some useful data.

for example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strategic

games

are able to provide

think

Wrong verb form

thinking

show examples

about management.

additionally

, there are some tv programs that have good data about the past or the future.

such

as historical movies or science programs.

however

, I do not find

this

argument valid because most

user

Change to a plural noun

users

show examples

don't

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

attention to

the

Change the word

their

show examples

benefits of them,

moreover

they

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

just for fun not to increase

knowledge

Correct pronoun usage

their knowledge

show examples

that is

merit far from

mind

Correct article usage

the mind

show examples

on the other hand

, many commentators justifiably argue that there are several positive points when we replace media and computer

games

with

books

also

, they insist that people are able to get more and quicker information from

books

in addition

, from an educational perspective reading

books

have highly beneficial to students. it is

also

maintained that most students who

habite

Correct your spelling

hate

to reading

books

have a better result in education through the pupils who spend their time with tv or

games

are less result. in sum , there are minor merits with

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

Assumption, so I strongly agree to altern reading

books

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

positive aspects are noticeable.

Submitted by amirhsina on Mon Mar 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

me believe that it is the reponsibility of the people to care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of environment. discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for trourists who visit such places?