Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#women #childcare #men #focus #children #life #extents

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Women

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are more vulnerable when they are already married. Societies put more pressure on them to raise their children than on the children's fathers. I am totally against

this

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idea since

women

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also

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have the same right as men to pursue their careers and still could give their best to be super moms.

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with, in the current circumstances that the world has been facing today, in which the inflation rate is higher every year, a stronger family is fully supported by both parents that are working to earn a living. With the financial situation that has been unstable since the pandemic, only having one source of income in a family is very risky.

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, there had been a critical issue in my country, Indonesia, when almost the majority of people lost their job at the beginning of the pandemic. Many families need to break their deposits in order to survive in

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dark era.

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, it would become more stable that a family has more than one income, or even better, the mothers were given a chance to be career

women

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Moreover

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women

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who have a working life do not mean that they could not be in charge of all of their parts of parenting. They can still have

time

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to be present in their children's lives as long as they can manage the

time

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properly.

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women

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could focus on their work from 7 to 3, and afterwards, they could go home and be fully present for their families. In conclusion,

women

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could still become great moms

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doing their job at the same

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, as long as they got the right support from their husbands.

In addition

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this

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issue could

also

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gain support from the government to add up

women

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's maternity leave, so newborn babies have sufficient

time

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to gain affection from their mothers and later they can adapt quickly to the change.

Submitted by lagum on Mon Mar 13 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary caregivers
biological factors
maternal instincts
nurturing
workforce
career growth
income equality
family dynamics
shared responsibility
gender stereotypes
economic disparities
traditional roles
modern family
active roles in childcare
opportunity and support

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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the computers will be more intelligent than humans. Others are worried about the negative consequences of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?