Research shows that overeating can be just as harmful as smoking. Thus the advertising of certain food products should be banned, as cigar is banned in many countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#research #food #products #cigar #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying the fact that the main impact of advertising is arguable.

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief that prepackaged

food

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

may harm

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as same as smoking,

therefore

Linking Words

, it should be

ban

Wrong verb form

banned

show examples

. From my

perpective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will shed light upon why I believe

this

Linking Words

. On the one hand, advertising processed

food

Use synonyms

should be banned as it has deadly effects

for

Change preposition

show examples

society.

For instance

Linking Words

, if juveniles see the

advertisment

Correct your spelling

Change preposition

for

show examples

junk

food

Use synonyms

, it will embolden them to buy canned

food

Use synonyms

and they may

be become

Change to the active voice

become

have become

show examples

addicts

Wrong verb form

addicted

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

it.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, advertising fast

food

Use synonyms

may motivate

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

to buy it, especially with the introduction of

various

Change the article

a various

the various

show examples

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

delivery applications that makes it

Change the word

apply

show examples

easier for the individual to buy junk

food

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, it becomes clear that

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

convenience

food

Use synonyms

can embolden folks to eat it.

Moreover

Linking Words

, advertising prepackaged

food

Use synonyms

can lead to risky effects on

masse's

Correct article usage

the masse's

show examples

health. To illustrate, a prestigious journal article published that 40% of youngsters were affected by colon cancer as

result

Add an article

a result

show examples

of consuming canned

food

Use synonyms

on regular basis.

In other words

Linking Words

, consuming

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

such

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

can cause several critical diseases

such

Linking Words

as obesity, cancer and heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. Indeed,

this

Linking Words

makes it clear that advertising for unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

may put many

burden

Change to a plural noun

burdens

show examples

on folk's health. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that advertising of convenience

food

Use synonyms

should be

ban

Wrong verb form

banned

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because advertising

this

Linking Words

type of

food

Use synonyms

can encourage youngsters to consume processed

food

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

it may lead to serious diseases.

Submitted by pt_maha on Mon Mar 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in the last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.
The excessive use of fossil fuels has led to significant climatic variations, posing a major environmental problem. While some argue for the termination of burning fossil fuels and the adoption of renewable resources such as wind and solar energy, others believe that the use of fossil fuels is essential for various industries. However, I disagree with the latter perspective. I firmly believe that alternative energy sources have the potential to replace conventional sources like coal and petroleum.
4
band
Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A number of people believe that minors need to start learning outlander language at elementary school rather than high school. This essay will shed some light on why the benefits of learning a different language in primary school outweigh the drawbacks.
4.5
band
Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
The amount of smokers worldwide is still high even if several campaigns highlighting health risks have been made. Overall, we should approach this topic with seriousness for two main reasons: firstly, smoking is addictive. Secondly, it can be connected to a social activity. Despite that, several solutions can be found to decrease the number of smokers.
<4
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
There are a lot of museums which need thicket to buy for entering them whereas some museums are completely free of charge for visitors. While there might be some drawbacks of paying for tickets, the advantages of charge for museum are more significant.
5
band
Some people believe, the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Involvement of learners in helping society can be reflected by co-operation with the unpaid community service. In fact I strongly agree with those who feel that unpaid community service is supposed to be a required part of high school programmes, due to the benefits of their society and themselves.

Research shows that overeating can be just as harmful as smoking. Thus the advertising of certain food products should be banned, as cigar is banned in many countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe, the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?