IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared. Freely discuss both views, give your opinion.

n
Correct your spelling
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, it is widely recognized that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of citizens believe that sharing valuable
data
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as scientific
things
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
educational and business-oriented
information
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the community
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 good.
However
Linking Words
, certain
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
 of individuals think that some kind of valuable
information
Use synonyms
 is too significant to freely share
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 I will give my opinion about
this
Linking Words
 statement. To commence with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of organizations are not sharing their
data
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 because of privacy and security regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
that vital
information
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent survey by Tehran University on scientific research, they found that numerous lawmakers are not
fascinating
Correct word choice
willing
show examples
 to share their research
things
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Iran
Correct your spelling
the Iranian
show examples
 government always hides
information
Use synonyms
 about their integral
things
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as nuclear weapons and medical
things
Use synonyms
 from other counterpart world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is a dominant thing for that authority to hide that
information
Use synonyms
,
otherwise
Linking Words
, it would affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their integral issues
such
Linking Words
 as security problems. On the other side of the coin, a quite few
people
Use synonyms
 think that sharing
data
Use synonyms
 is good for society to know the
information
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 a ton of
people
Use synonyms
 don’t like to share their
information
Use synonyms
 with others in
this
Linking Words
 modern era.
However
Linking Words
, sharing business and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
things
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others would create a good impact on society.
People
Use synonyms
 can know about that valuable
information
Use synonyms
 and it would assist everyone’s life.For example, all the time of the outbreak of the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 virus, which was a common issue for all countries, it was very important to report the disease in a fraction of a minute and inform all
people
Use synonyms
 about the consequences that they will
be faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
. In conclusion, everything has its own pros and cons
likewise
Linking Words
 sharing as much news as possible in main important sectors can be assumed as both good and bad. To decide clearly whether good or bad,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on the situation and the
data
Use synonyms
 itself as mentioned in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
above paragraphs.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: