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Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with healt problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

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Clearly,
alternative
Use synonyms
ways
Use synonyms
 of treating illnesses have gained quite
a
Correct article usage
apply
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popularity over the
last
Linking Words
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
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. It is increasingly diverting many people from conventional doctors, and
although
Linking Words
 it may have some advantages, the change may cause certain repercussions. Diversification of
treatment
Use synonyms
 methods with more and more people turning to other
ways
Use synonyms
 than medicine may reduce workload stress, and enable doctors to devote more time
on
Change preposition
to
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 more serious diseases. In certain situations, patients with severe illnesses may not receive enough attention from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical personnel.
However
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, seeking answers in
alternative
Use synonyms
ways
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 result in patients whose illnesses demand quick
treatment
Use synonyms
 losing valuable time.
For instance
Linking Words
, trying to cure cancer with music or magnetic
treatment
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 may not be a feasible option and the outcome can be catastrophic for the patient. So, despite its benefits, the shift towards
alternative
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 medicines cannot always be supported. In the long term, the trend may divert people from scientifically proven
ways
Use synonyms
 of treating diseases, reducing society’s trust in medicine.
This
Linking Words
 can have devastating effects on
community
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the community
a community
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, as history has proven
this
Linking Words
 multiple times. Another problem is many of the specialists who provide
alternative
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 treatments are not qualified medical personnel, so they cannot always be trusted for the right consultation.
For instance
Linking Words
,
treatment
Use synonyms
 of certain diseases may require certain actions
such
Linking Words
 as spending more time under the sun or the opposite.
Alternative
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
 may not take these factors into consideration, and
while
Linking Words
 trying to cure the patient, it can actually exacerbate the problem. In conclusion, many individuals turning to
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicines and treatments rather than trained medical professionals may be helpful to mitigate small problems, but on a larger
scale
Add a comma
,scale
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 it can be more damaging
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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