Some people believe money is the best gift for teenegers, while others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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It is debatable whether the family budget should be allocated to teens as a reward. From my perspective,
this
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opinion is valid to a certain extent. The following paragraphs would shed light on my viewpoint. Admittedly, protester of
this
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standpoint has their rational grounds.
First,
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money can hardly convey the emotional connection necessary for a strong parent-child relationship.
In particular
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, youths may feel a lack of attention from their parents as the use of assets as a reward becomes more frequent. In the long run,
this
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leads to depression in
teenagers
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.
Second,
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a significant number of
teenagers
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lack the right awareness of how to utilize reasonable donating money. To elaborate, there are no plans to use wealth, so these resources could be wasted. In fact, minors in Vietnam have used the money given to them to gamble, which leads to financial burdens for their families. Despite the aforementioned shortcomings, I believe that
this
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practice provides merits. The most pertinent point is that it gives
teenagers
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the freedom and financial independence to choose what they want. Specifically, by allowing them to decide what to buy, teens can learn to prioritize spending, plan for future purchases, and develop a sense of financial responsibility. In the long term,
this
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leads to the development of financial responsibility and decision-making skills in adolescents. Another justification is that presenting monetary gifts is a method to motivate the young to achieve their goals.
In particular
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, it is
also
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a moral encouragement and motivation for them to try harder. In the long term,
this
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will help them develop themselves effectively and achieve success. In conclusion, it is indisputable that financial rewards negatively affect children's mental health and behaviour.
Nonetheless
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, I still oppose the topic in question, because not only does it give
teenagers
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the ability to manage their finances, but it
also
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motivates them
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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