The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has led to many social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, the increasing use of mobile
phones
has led to several social complications. I completely agree with the said notion, as these issues have reduced face-to-face interactions and
also
affected the physical health of individuals.
This
essay will explore these problems in detail. Mobile
phones
have become an essential part of our lives. The reason for the popular use of these devices is very simple, it connects all individuals around the world.
For instance
, netizens can now connect through different social media platforms like Instagram, and Facebook.
Due to
this
, they are always busy on their cell
phones
using different applications which has caused barriers in traditional face-to-face interactions, people now prefer to chat using their
phones
rather than meeting each other personally.
This
could be one of the biggest reasons for causing all social problems.
On the other hand
, mobile
phones
have
also
affected our physical well-being. To put it another way, people now prefer to play games online rather than getting involved in team sports like Cricket or football.
Due to
this
, their social life would be in danger,
as well as
their physical ability would be impacted in the long run.
According to
a gaming survey in 2023, Minecraft which is a popular game among youngsters has seen a 200% rise in usage after the COVID-19 pandemic.
This
example clearly states that online games have created a big wall for all young generations to prefer staying at home rather than going to meet new people and socializing. In conclusion, I strongly believe that mobile
phones
being an essential part can have an impact on your physical
as well as
mental well-being, which could result in many social problems.
Submitted by brishjot999 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points effectively, but you could enhance your arguments by adding more specific examples to support your claims. Also, consider discussing any potential benefits of mobile phones to make your argument more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, it would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This would help maintain a more logical flow throughout the essay.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction clearly sets out your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This makes your essay easy to follow.
supported points
The main points in your essay are well-supported by relevant examples, such as the use of social media and the impact of online games.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • social skills
  • personal relationships
  • mental health issues
  • anxiety and depression
  • distractions
  • cyberbullying
  • productivity
  • learning outcomes
  • communication
  • access to information
  • professional growth
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