The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has led to many social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, the increasing use of mobile

phones

has led to several social complications. I completely agree with the said notion, as these issues have reduced face-to-face interactions and

also

affected the physical health of individuals.

This

essay will explore these problems in detail. Mobile

phones

have become an essential part of our lives. The reason for the popular use of these devices is very simple, it connects all individuals around the world.

For instance

, netizens can now connect through different social media platforms like Instagram, and Facebook.

Due to

this

, they are always busy on their cell

phones

using different applications which has caused barriers in traditional face-to-face interactions, people now prefer to chat using their

phones

rather than meeting each other personally.

This

could be one of the biggest reasons for causing all social problems.

On the other hand

, mobile

phones

have

also

affected our physical well-being. To put it another way, people now prefer to play games online rather than getting involved in team sports like Cricket or football.

Due to

this

, their social life would be in danger,

as well as

their physical ability would be impacted in the long run.

According to

a gaming survey in 2023, Minecraft which is a popular game among youngsters has seen a 200% rise in usage after the COVID-19 pandemic.

This

example clearly states that online games have created a big wall for all young generations to prefer staying at home rather than going to meet new people and socializing. In conclusion, I strongly believe that mobile

phones

being an essential part can have an impact on your physical

as well as

mental well-being, which could result in many social problems.

Submitted by brishjot999 on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers the main points effectively, but you could enhance your arguments by adding more specific examples to support your claims. Also, consider discussing any potential benefits of mobile phones to make your argument more balanced.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay has a clear structure, it would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This would help maintain a more logical flow throughout the essay.

introduction and conclusion

Your introduction clearly sets out your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This makes your essay easy to follow.

supported points

The main points in your essay are well-supported by relevant examples, such as the use of social media and the impact of online games.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

face-to-face interactions
social skills
personal relationships
mental health issues
anxiety and depression
distractions
cyberbullying
productivity
learning outcomes
communication
access to information
professional growth

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The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has led to many social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Health services are a basic necessity for a person. Private companies have made health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?