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Band 7

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The two following pie graphs present the
consistency
Use synonyms
 of five different
nutrients
Use synonyms
 but the upper one illustrates the
consistency
Use synonyms
 of a medium baked
potato
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other graph shows the
consistency
Use synonyms
 of a
macaroni
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that carbohydrates have the highest percentage in both dishes in comparison with the other given,
nutrients
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
macaroni
Use synonyms
 has the lowest percentage of other
nutrients
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
potato
Use synonyms
 has its lowest
consistency
Use synonyms
 of saturated fat.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
macaroni
Use synonyms
 has the same quantity of glucose and protein as they are both 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Also
Linking Words
 the
potato
Use synonyms
 has two
nutrients
Use synonyms
 with similar
consistency
Use synonyms
 which are glucose and other
nutrients
Use synonyms
 with 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is a significant difference between the amount of protein in the two dishes because
macaroni
Use synonyms
 has only 11%
while
Linking Words
 the
potato
Use synonyms
 has a total of 25%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a substantial amount of saturated fat in the
macaroni
Use synonyms
 which is 21%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consistency, nutrients, potato, macaroni with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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