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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people want to own famous brands of cars, clothes and other items. What are the reason for this. Is this a positive or negative trend?

#people #brands #cars #clothes #items #reason #trend
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There are various causes of
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 famous brands,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which the popularity of social media accounted for the largest proportion. Take many downsides into perspective,
such
 as price abuse which
violate
Correct subject-verb agreement
violates
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 the benefit of consumers, on top of that, it could restrict the development of local
business
. I believe
such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
derive
Change the verb form
derives
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 more negative effects than positive ones First of all, people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays accustom to share their daily life on social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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, including well-known
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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 and women,
along with
 influencers. The
products
 they use are associated with their
glory
Replace the word
glorious
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 life, which
stimulate
Change the verb form
stimulates
show examples
 the
trend
 of imitation. Take Starbucks as an example, which is one of the most popular coffee
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
 around the world. Despite that the
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
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 of coffee in Starbucks
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 higher than
regular
Change preposition
in regular
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 coffee shops, their
products
 remain popular among young adults.
However
,
such
 trends could lead to a great number of issues, including
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
brand
 monopoly
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 market, restricting the development of local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
Moreover
, it is inevitable that the majority of
products
 from well-known brands are
overcharge
Wrong verb form
overcharged
show examples
, compared to the local private institutions which use better materials with unique
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
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.
For example
, Samsung is the most famous
brand
 in Korea, users value
their
Change the word
the
show examples
brand
 so much that it is hard for small
business
 to promote their own
products
.
To conclude
, the development of social media lead to a growing population who prefer
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
 based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brands.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
that
Correct word choice
though
show examples
 it is an unstoppable
trend
, in my perspective the downsides overweight the positive
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Therefore
, I suggest it is a negative
trend
.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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