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In many countries, children are not exercising as much as before and are becoming more and more overweight. What is your opinion of this situation?

#countries #children #situation
Obesity has become one of the common health issues among
children
 as in today's world
children
 have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 sedentary
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. I completely agree with the statement and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 about several reasons behind it.
Firstly
, mobile phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 are the main reason because these days
adolscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 spend most of their time watching cartoons and playing games on
phones
Correct pronoun usage
their phones
show examples
.
However
, in the past majority of the
children
 play games outside of their homes that were a good source of physical activity and exercise for them.
For example
, in the evening they were used to
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 cricket and some other sort of games. But, today
children
 don't like to have any kind of physical activity.
Secondly
, the other major cause of obesity among
children
 is eating more junk and fast food. Today,
adolscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 don't like to eat vegetables and healthy food and they have a very bad habit of consuming foods like
pizza's
Change noun form
pizzas
show examples
,
burger's
Change noun form
burgers
show examples
, fries etc that are not good for their health and ultimately
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
 in
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in their weight.
To conclude
, in my opinion
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle and eating more junk food are the main reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity among
children
.
However
, these can be overcome by developing good habits among
children
 and
palying
Correct your spelling
playing
 any kind of game that burn
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
calories.
Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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