In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

#countries #food #restaurants #companies #money #schools #school #products #children #development

Nowadays, junk

food

organizations started giving money to

schools

in order to promote their products to school juveniles. I believe

this

is a negative trend because

children

may get overweight

due to

eating

this

type of

diet

and it is harmful to their health as well. Many

children

are overweight because of the unhealthy

diet

that

schools

cater to them. As

schools

are paid for selling products of fast

food

companies minors are likely to consume them in huge amounts.

Moreover

children

eat junk

food

every day when they are at school and

hence

they gain weight quickly and some

children

even do not realize it because they like

Correct article usage

the

show examples

taste of fast

food

Also

, it may be difficult for them to refuse

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it as they do not have a healthy

diet

at their

schools

For instance

, school learners at American

schools

are facing problems with obesity because they eat a lot of fast

food

products.

Furthermore

, eating an unhealthy

diet

small

Correct word choice

a young

show examples

age might be hazardous to

children

's health. Consuming it habitually can lead to the wrong work of their stomach and

therefore

juveniles can be exposed to dangerous diseases.

Additionally

, because of fast

food

their skin may get worse too and it can affect minors' self-esteem.

For example

, many adolescents like to go to KFC and Burger King restaurants and they say they have pimples after eating burgers or fried chicken. In conclusion, in my opinion,

this

is a negative development and

schools

should stop bringing money from junk

food

organizations in order to save

children

from obesity and their health too.

Submitted by zbirliknur01 on Tue Mar 14 2023

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task achievement

Include a more balanced view by discussing any potential positives of the arrangement, even if you ultimately believe the negatives outweigh them.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices and linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and supported with specific examples.

task achievement

The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. however ,some of the method used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities to what extent do you you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some scientists believe that studying 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?