In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

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Nowadays, junk

food

Use synonyms

organizations started giving money to

schools

Use synonyms

in order to promote their products to school juveniles. I believe

this

Linking Words

is a negative trend because

children

Use synonyms

may get overweight

due to

Linking Words

eating

this

Linking Words

type of

diet

Use synonyms

and it is harmful to their health as well. Many

children

Use synonyms

are overweight because of the unhealthy

diet

Use synonyms

that

schools

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cater to them. As

schools

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are paid for selling products of fast

food

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companies minors are likely to consume them in huge amounts.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

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eat junk

food

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every day when they are at school and

hence

Linking Words

they gain weight quickly and some

children

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even do not realize it because they like

Correct article usage

the

show examples

taste of fast

food

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Also

Linking Words

, it may be difficult for them to refuse

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it as they do not have a healthy

diet

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at their

schools

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For instance

Linking Words

, school learners at American

schools

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are facing problems with obesity because they eat a lot of fast

food

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products.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, eating an unhealthy

diet

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small

Correct word choice

a young

show examples

age might be hazardous to

children

Use synonyms

's health. Consuming it habitually can lead to the wrong work of their stomach and

therefore

Linking Words

juveniles can be exposed to dangerous diseases.

Additionally

Linking Words

, because of fast

food

Use synonyms

their skin may get worse too and it can affect minors' self-esteem.

For example

Linking Words

, many adolescents like to go to KFC and Burger King restaurants and they say they have pimples after eating burgers or fried chicken. In conclusion, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a negative development and

schools

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should stop bringing money from junk

food

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organizations in order to save

children

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from obesity and their health too.

zbirliknur01Tue Mar 14 2023

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task achievement

Include a more balanced view by discussing any potential positives of the arrangement, even if you ultimately believe the negatives outweigh them.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices and linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and supported with specific examples.

task achievement

The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. Which view do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both the views and state your own opinion.

Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?