IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #food #foods #methods #preparation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
However
Linking Words
,
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 will increase considerably because so many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to choose easier
foods
Use synonyms
 to eat, compared to conventional
food
Use synonyms
 that needs time to prepare. I totally disagree because most
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 are unhealthy
foods
Use synonyms
 and have detrimental effects on the body.
Moreover
Linking Words
, traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 can disappear in the future. On the one hand, the majority of
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 contain unhealthy nutrition.
This
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 has low levels of substances which are so pivotal for the body
such
Linking Words
 as high proteins and minerals.
In addition
Linking Words
, the packed
food
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the products that have been preserved before they are delivered to society
due to
Linking Words
 still being in good condition for a long time. Even though these
foods
Use synonyms
 make
people
Use synonyms
 easier to prepare their meals and not consume time, they might
also
Linking Words
 be vulnerable suffer some diseases.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have been hospitalized has risen markedly since
people
Use synonyms
 always consume unhealthy meals like canned
food
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their bodies are more easily attacked by pathogens. On the second hand, the extinction of traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 will decrease. These
foods
Use synonyms
 can represent an identity in one region or country. Presently, despite learning and cooking conventional
foods
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 especially, younger generations, tend to have a big curiosity about foreign
foods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Korean
foods
Use synonyms
 and Japanese
foods
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it not only may cause the ability of society to preserve home-cooked
food
Use synonyms
 to decline day to day but
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can have a lack of knowledge and experience about their traditional
foods
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 are more simple to prepare and eat, I strongly believe that they can have more negative effects because those
foods
Use synonyms
 tend to contain slight nutrients and
besides
Linking Words
 ,that conventional
foods
Use synonyms
 may be rarer to find in the future.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: