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Band 7.5

Children have freedom to make mistakes, or should be prevented to make mistakes by adults? Discuss both sides and give opinion.

#children #freedom #mistakes #adults
People
 have differing views with regard to the question of whether we should let
children
 make
mistakes
 freely. In my view, we should allow young
people
 to learn to take care of their own life through errors, rather than deliberately eliminating all of them. On the one hand, some
mistakes
 might be significantly harmful,
thus
 requiring adult involvement in the first place.
For example
, there are chances for innocent young
people
 to acquire bad habits like smoking, alcohol abuse, and video game addiction. Given that those dangerous behaviours can lead to long-lasting negative impacts on
children
’s physical and mental health, the interference of schooling and home education is necessary to minimize the possibility of
such
 exposures and provide careful assistance and mentorship for abandoning the habits.
On the other hand
, I believe that the freedom of making
mistakes
 can produce several benefits for youngsters.
Firstly
, it is vital for
children
 to continuously tackle different tasks to improve themselves, and the resulting costs constitute valuable experience and sources in the process.
Secondly
, youngsters should be encouraged to make the most of
this
 life stage by trying out different things
while
 the costs involved are often dramatically smaller than those that occur when older, in turn building up a solid foundation for the future.
Finally
, parents at home and teachers at school have already formed all-around supervision,
therefore
, they do not need to overreact to those minor errors their kids cause. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 tend to worry about the damages associated with
mistakes
children
 make, I agree that we should allow for the freedom of
children
 undergoing various challenges.
Submitted by c.chengzhe on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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