IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Children have freedom to make mistakes, or should be prevented to make mistakes by adults? Discuss both sides and give opinion.

#children #freedom #mistakes #adults
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have differing views with regard to the question of whether we should let
children
Use synonyms
 make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 freely. In my view, we should allow young
people
Use synonyms
 to learn to take care of their own life through errors, rather than deliberately eliminating all of them. On the one hand, some
mistakes
Use synonyms
 might be significantly harmful,
thus
Linking Words
 requiring adult involvement in the first place.
For example
Linking Words
, there are chances for innocent young
people
Use synonyms
 to acquire bad habits like smoking, alcohol abuse, and video game addiction. Given that those dangerous behaviours can lead to long-lasting negative impacts on
children
Use synonyms
’s physical and mental health, the interference of schooling and home education is necessary to minimize the possibility of
such
Linking Words
 exposures and provide careful assistance and mentorship for abandoning the habits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that the freedom of making
mistakes
Use synonyms
 can produce several benefits for youngsters.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is vital for
children
Use synonyms
 to continuously tackle different tasks to improve themselves, and the resulting costs constitute valuable experience and sources in the process.
Secondly
Linking Words
, youngsters should be encouraged to make the most of
this
Linking Words
 life stage by trying out different things
while
Linking Words
 the costs involved are often dramatically smaller than those that occur when older, in turn building up a solid foundation for the future.
Finally
Linking Words
, parents at home and teachers at school have already formed all-around supervision,
therefore
Linking Words
, they do not need to overreact to those minor errors their kids cause. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to worry about the damages associated with
mistakes
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 make, I agree that we should allow for the freedom of
children
Use synonyms
 undergoing various challenges.
Submitted by c.chengzhe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: