IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce povert in the world. Others say economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #development #povert #world #growth #environment
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Economic development is very important for a nation's growth. There are people having different views regarding economic growth
as
Correct word choice
apply
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some thought it is necessary and some have
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
an opposite
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point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of view.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I completely agree with the statement that it is crucial for national development but it
also
 has its own negative impacts on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. First of all, the rise in the economy of a country ultimately results in low poverty. Countries with good economic status have beneficial opportunities for their pupil.
However
, nations facing
decline
Add an article
a decline
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 in their economic expansion are falling apart
consequently
 resulting in inflation.
For example
, these days Pakistan is going through a very hard economic downfall.
As a result
, the prices of all the necessary food and living stuff
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 increased that had affected
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of people badly.
Furthermore
, people are facing job issues as only
few
Change the article
a few
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 factories are working causing higher
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
property
 rates.
On the other hand
, the growth in the development of more and more factories to earn money has damaging effects, too.
This
 rise not only results in air pollution but
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 the main reason behind global warming.
For instance
, the ozone layer around the earth is
damaging
Replace the word
damaged
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 because of the chemicals emitted from these factories. By
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of
this
 protective
layer
Add a comma
,layer
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 more ultraviolet rays are reaching the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
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 surface causing various skin diseases
such
 as skin cancer.
To conclude
, I believe that economic
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 is very crucial for a society to grow.
However
, I
also
 agree with the opinion that in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
 it has
damaging
Add an article
a damaging
show examples
 influence on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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