many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #products #people

There is no doubt that high-level sugary diets and refreshments have been putting a great strain on

individuals's

Remove the s

individuals'

show examples

well-being,

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the cause of

this

undoubtedly stems from

food

manufacturers.

Therefore

, more expensive products should be

teken

Correct your spelling

taken

into consideration to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugary diets or drinks. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

notion, so I will elaborate

some

Change preposition

on some

show examples

reasons to advocate

this

view.

To begin

with, when it comes to limited or expensive choices of sugar beverages or sweets, customers will make up their minds to opt for a cheaper one.

This

would help tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

matter. Because a variety of sweet

food

available may result in various troubles for citizens. To put it simply,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

modern society has paved the way for sugary

food

consumption, leading to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

much lower

food

prices,

therefore

, consumers find it convenient to purchase

food

Add an article

the food

show examples

they desire to have, especially junk

food

Consequently

, the less they consume sweet products, the better they will be. Another viewpoint of

this

, the majority of locals can greatly benefit from

this

practice since they are likely to eat healthy alternative

food

instead

, which is important because they can have a better lifestyle without excessive sugary consumption. If they can reduce the amount of sugary stuff, they are likely to be free from harmful diseases,

such

as diabetes,

obisity

Correct your spelling

obesity

, and

high-blood

Correct your spelling

high blood

show examples

pressure. In

this

way, people can even live longer if they eat more

healthy

Change the word

healthily

show examples

. In the UK,

for example

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

stores charge for sweet

fuzzy

Correct your spelling

fizzy

show examples

drinks, so many

custumers

Correct your spelling

customers

are less likely to buy them. In conclusion, humans' fitness has been

influencing

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

by sweet

food

, so I believe that if we can increase the prices of

such

harmful

food

, people might have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better health.

Submitted by keakyenge on Tue Mar 14 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that it is cruel to test drugs and other new products on animals. Others believe that this sort of testing is important and necessary for improving and even saving people’s lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give own your opinion

Some people believe that computers and the Internet are more important to a child’s education than schools and teachers. However, others argue that schools and teachers play a more important role in the education of children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.