many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #products #people

There is no doubt that high-level sugary diets and refreshments have been putting a great strain on

individuals's

Remove the s

individuals'

show examples

well-being,

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the cause of

this

undoubtedly stems from

food

manufacturers.

Therefore

, more expensive products should be

teken

Correct your spelling

taken

into consideration to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugary diets or drinks. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

notion, so I will elaborate

some

Change preposition

on some

show examples

reasons to advocate

this

view.

To begin

with, when it comes to limited or expensive choices of sugar beverages or sweets, customers will make up their minds to opt for a cheaper one.

This

would help tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

matter. Because a variety of sweet

food

available may result in various troubles for citizens. To put it simply,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

modern society has paved the way for sugary

food

consumption, leading to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

much lower

food

prices,

therefore

, consumers find it convenient to purchase

food

Add an article

the food

show examples

they desire to have, especially junk

food

Consequently

, the less they consume sweet products, the better they will be. Another viewpoint of

this

, the majority of locals can greatly benefit from

this

practice since they are likely to eat healthy alternative

food

instead

, which is important because they can have a better lifestyle without excessive sugary consumption. If they can reduce the amount of sugary stuff, they are likely to be free from harmful diseases,

such

as diabetes,

obisity

Correct your spelling

obesity

, and

high-blood

Correct your spelling

high blood

show examples

pressure. In

this

way, people can even live longer if they eat more

healthy

Change the word

healthily

show examples

. In the UK,

for example

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

stores charge for sweet

fuzzy

Correct your spelling

fizzy

show examples

drinks, so many

custumers

Correct your spelling

customers

are less likely to buy them. In conclusion, humans' fitness has been

influencing

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

by sweet

food

, so I believe that if we can increase the prices of

such

harmful

food

, people might have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better health.

Submitted by keakyenge on Tue Mar 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
People are annoyed or entertained by advertising, but they are not affected by advertisements when making shopping decisions. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Yes, I agree that majority of the people are annoyed by advertising and community might accept advertisements during purchases through online forums such as website shopping. Let's discuss the views on both arguments.
5.5
band
Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
While some people argue that athletes serve as positive role models who are inspire youngsters to become better versions, others think that athletes' behaviour can effect negatively on their own lives. Personally, I totally believe that sports professionals are of great benefit to the general public.
4.5
band
Society is becoming obsessed with material goods like fast cars, designer clothes and flashy jewellery. We have stopped caring about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high and family bonds are not as strong anymore; our valve system is disintegrating. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Nowadays personal relationships loose their impoertance as people get more attracted towards materialistic things such as racing vehicles, fashionable dresses, and eye-catching ornaments. Even they does not care about their married lives. In my opinion, I completely agree that the value of families get replaced by artificial objects because mankind become selfish and greedy and due to lack of moral education.
4.5
band
in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your oponion about this?
In some regions of the America, teenagers are not supposed being out of their home especially at night time unless they are accompanied with adults. I will express my points of view about this in this assay.
5
band
Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What can be done about this problem?
The majority of people tend to achieve lucrative occupation and pleasant family life simultaneously. This issue can lead to various health problems and feelings of failure in purpose, and the most viable solution to solve this phenomenon is designate specific time for family

many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People are annoyed or entertained by advertising, but they are not affected by advertisements when making shopping decisions. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your oponion about this?

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What can be done about this problem?