Some people believe that education success mostly depends on teachers. Others, however, say that it depends more on the attitude of students and their willingness to study. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While

Linking Words

some share the opinion that academic

performance

Use synonyms

is mainly dependent on the educators, others oppose

this

Linking Words

belief,

further

Linking Words

claiming it solely depends on the pupils. I personally believe that individual responsibility drives studies educators equally play a vital role in obtaining our education. On one hand, educators have an immense impact on not just our academic success, but

also

Linking Words

the perception and understanding we develop about subjects. Teachers are qualified individuals to appropriately introduce and skillfully convey knowledge.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they play a key role in the student's ability to obtain and

further

Linking Words

apply given information.

For instance

Linking Words

, the lack of ability to properly explain certain concepts and solve problems might confuse and

without

Punctuation problem

, without

show examples

a doubt

result

Punctuation problem

, result

show examples

in the pupil insufficiently attaining

given

Correct article usage

the given

show examples

material.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the attitude of the professor surrounding their teachings and students is impactful.

This

Linking Words

often shapes the relationship between the subject and the pupil.

Consequently

Linking Words

, a disrespectful and unmotivated approach by an educator might result in the students obtaining a similar outlook, and perhaps, even complete objection and severe lack of interest.

For example

Linking Words

, numerous surveys done by the University of Toronto in 2015 resulted in nearly 85% of all students claiming that the method and approach of a professor to a given subject critically affected their personal relationship with it.

Conversely

Linking Words

, some people claim that success in education is strictly linked to

the

Correct article usage

those

show examples

ones

acquiring

Wrong verb form

acquire

show examples

it. It is argued that underperformance is often

due to

Linking Words

laziness and unwillingness to even participate in lectures.

Thus

Linking Words

, people claim that it is the pupil's lack of preparation and involvement that causes inadequate

performance

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, nonvoluntary attributes

such

Linking Words

as capability and intelligence

also

Linking Words

determine

performance

Use synonyms

outcomes. As these factors are uncontrollable, yet continuously present, the level of

performance

Use synonyms

can be constricted and limited.

To conclude

Linking Words

, our mentors and their methodological approach hold the key to

further

Linking Words

prospects and directly influence the relationships that pupils develop with academics. And

although

Linking Words

without personal

efforts

Punctuation problem

efforts,

show examples

success is futile, I believe the foundation is predominantly set by external factors.

sarahberger2003

Mar 14, 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, such as 'furthermore' or 'for instance'.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points and make them stronger.

task achievement

In your conclusion, clearly restate your opinion and summarize your main points to make it clearer.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument well, showing a balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction is clear and presents a strong thesis statement.

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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