IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram below show the changes that have t aken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

the diagram below show the changes that have t aken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
The given diagrams illustrate the transformations that have taken place in the vicinity of West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary School since 1950. The figures showcase the developments made in three different years, namely 1950, 1980, and 2010. The school building remained in the same location throughout the years,
while
Linking Words
 the playground area has undergone significant changes. In 1950, there were three houses and a large farmland in front of the school. Later, the houses were replaced by a car
park
Use synonyms
 and a science block, respectively. The farmland was
also
Linking Words
 transformed into a sports field, which was longer than the newly built science block and car
park
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, by 2010, the car
park
Use synonyms
 had expanded, reducing the size of the sports field. Despite
this
Linking Words
 change, the science block remained the same size as it was when it was constructed.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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