IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #topic
Some
people
 believe that the effective way to decrease
crimes
 is by giving criminals longer
prison
 sentences,
while
 other
people
 think that there are other better and more useful options to reduce crime rates. In my point of view, I completely agree with the second opinion because staying in
prison
 will not result in
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fewer
crimes
,
whereas
 other solutions like rehabilitation could help with reducing them.
This
 essay will investigate the two different opinions. On the one hand, criminals always think that even if they went to
prison
, they will stay for a little
times
Correct the article-noun agreement
time
show examples
 and
then
 they will leave but spending more time there is going to change their minds.
In other words
, spending a lot of years in
prison
 can lead them into regretting committing it another time as they would, definitely have quite challenging and tough years away from freedom.
Furthermore
,
this
 harsh punishment is going to make
people
 scared of doing the same thing.
On the other hand
, it can be argued that there are alternatives that have better benefits and results.
For example
, spreading awareness about the consequences of these
crimes
 and how much they can affect their lives.
Nevertheless
, the government should put strict rules in order to keep
people
 safe and decrease crime rates.
In addition
, if someone is going to buy a gun, he just
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a gun license so that murder
crimes
 do not increase. A good example of
this
 is provided by the USA as everyone can have a gun which resulted in murder growth in the country
To conclude
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that other solutions can be done better than
prison
,
Also
 governments should protect citizens from criminals at any cost.
Submitted by Retaaji72 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: