Some sports are considered extremely dangerous, but many people still like them. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

#sports #people #part #suggestions #dangers

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People

participate in a wide variety of

sports

from the traditional ones like cricket or tennis to the most extreme ones

such

as boxing or mixed martial arts.

Although

every sport surely carries some

risk

, these extreme

sports

can lead to fatal consequences if something goes wrong. Thankfully , there are ways to mitigate

such

risks in order to avoid

such

consequences. The main reason why

people

enjoy participating in these

sports

is the emotional high they can bring about. When skiers fly through the air on their surfboards or

people

summit the mountain without ropes, they feel a surge of dopamine, the feel-good chemical, which becomes addictive. When these extreme

sports

enthusiasts take

such

risky measures, the appetite for

this

feeling increases over time as they conquer more and more goals. The other reason

Remove the comma

apply

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is the sense of achievement that they accomplish.

However

this

sensation is common for all kinds of

sports

but it is heightened when the

sports

itself is high

risk

For instance

, a surfer may dream to do a 360 flip on air and when they do it, they have not just survived a life-threatening situation but

also

have added a skill that others dream to achieve. It is important,

however

, that steps are taken in order to minimise

such

risks. First and foremost, these

risk

takers need to educate themselves, be it on how to monitor the wind and waves during surfing and

also

falling from a horse in the most careful way.

Moreover

this

extends to the priority to use safety and suitable gear in order to protect themselves.

In addition

to individual responsibilities , there are guidelines that should be put in place by authorities. When it comes to Olympic

sports

like boxing or martial arts have strict rules to reduce the

risk

of spinal and head injuries. In conclusion, driven by dopamine and the idea of success,

people

will pursue extreme

sports

. If complying with regulations and

also

acting responsibly, participants should be able to enjoy these

sports

without putting themselves in grave danger.

Submitted by kevinleom12 on Tue Jun 18 2024

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Style

Clarify the sentence structure and choice of words in certain parts to enhance readability. For example, the sentence 'When it comes to Olympic sports, sports like boxing or martial arts have strict rules to reduce the risk of spinal and head injuries.' could be more concise and clear.

Formal Language

Ensure consistency in tone and academic language. The phrase 'feel-good chemical' could be replaced with a more academically appropriate term like 'neurotransmitter associated with pleasure.'

Evidence-based

While the essay covers the main reasons and offers solutions, providing more concrete examples and studies can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Logical Structure

The essay presents clear and logical arguments that are easy to follow. The points about dopamine and the sense of achievement are well-articulated.

Introduction/Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion efficiently frame the essay and bring closure to the discussion.

Supported Points

Use of relevant examples and practical suggestions, such as educating oneself and the use of safety gear, effectively support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

343 words

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Some sports are considered extremely dangerous, but many people still like them. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Fully explain your ideas

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?