Some sports are considered extremely dangerous, but many people still like them. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
People
participate in a wide variety of sports
from the traditional ones like cricket or tennis to the most extreme ones such
as boxing or mixed martial arts. Although
every sport surely carries some risk
, these extreme sports
can lead to fatal consequences if something goes wrong. Thankfully , there are ways to mitigate such
risks in order to avoid such
consequences.
The main reason why people
enjoy participating in these sports
is the emotional high they can bring about. When skiers fly through the air on their surfboards or people
summit the mountain without ropes, they feel a surge of dopamine, the feel-good chemical, which becomes addictive. When these extreme sports
enthusiasts take such
risky measures, the appetite for this
feeling increases over time as they conquer more and more goals.
The other reason,
is the sense of achievement that they accomplish. Remove the comma
apply
However
, this
sensation is common for all kinds of sports
but it is heightened when the sports
itself is high risk
. For instance
, a surfer may dream to do a 360 flip on air and when they do it, they have not just survived a life-threatening situation but also
have added a skill that others dream to achieve.
It is important, however
, that steps are taken in order to minimise such
risks. First and foremost, these risk
takers need to educate themselves, be it on how to monitor the wind and waves during surfing and also
falling from a horse in the most careful way. Moreover
, this
extends to the priority to use safety and suitable gear in order to protect themselves. In addition
to individual responsibilities , there are guidelines that should be put in place by authorities. When it comes to Olympic sports
, sports
like boxing or martial arts have strict rules to reduce the risk
of spinal and head injuries.
In conclusion, driven by dopamine and the idea of success, people
will pursue extreme sports
. If complying with regulations and also
acting responsibly, participants should be able to enjoy these sports
without putting themselves in grave danger.Submitted by kevinleom12 on
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Style
Clarify the sentence structure and choice of words in certain parts to enhance readability. For example, the sentence 'When it comes to Olympic sports, sports like boxing or martial arts have strict rules to reduce the risk of spinal and head injuries.' could be more concise and clear.
Formal Language
Ensure consistency in tone and academic language. The phrase 'feel-good chemical' could be replaced with a more academically appropriate term like 'neurotransmitter associated with pleasure.'
Evidence-based
While the essay covers the main reasons and offers solutions, providing more concrete examples and studies can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Logical Structure
The essay presents clear and logical arguments that are easy to follow. The points about dopamine and the sense of achievement are well-articulated.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion efficiently frame the essay and bring closure to the discussion.
Supported Points
Use of relevant examples and practical suggestions, such as educating oneself and the use of safety gear, effectively support the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.