IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Being self-employed is better than being employed by a company or an organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#company #organisation
There is an opinion that it is better to work independently than to be hired by a
company
 or an institution.
Although
people
 can enjoy several
benefits
 by becoming independent
workers
, I mainly disagree with
this
 idea because
people
 can get more opportunities for challenging
projects
 and receive job security. Admittedly,
people
 can obtain several
benefits
 by being self-employed, one obvious thing of which may be the flexibility of working style. Since there is no need to confirm the boss’s opinions or arrange the schedule of employees,
people
 can manage both job and private matters much easier/more accessible, especially enabling women to continue working.
However
, at the same time,
people
 are suffered from serious pressure because whether they can earn enough money completely/entirely depends on individual activities.
On the other hand
, there seem to be more
benefits
 in belonging to the
company
.
Firstly
, employees can obtain chances to tackle large
projects
 because organisations have more credibility to receive offers and can create teams by bringing various skilled
people
 together. These challenging tasks can provide a sense of accomplishment to the
workers
.
Secondly
, there is better job security in the
company
 because the responsibilities are shared by team members.
This
 safe environment enables
workers
 to challenge high-risk
projects
. In conclusion,
although
 independent
workers
 can receive
benefits
,
such
 as flexible working, they tend to have severe pressure.
Conversely
,
this
 pressure can be lessened/ mitigated if
people
 work at a
company
 or an organisation,
as well as
 more opportunities for rewarding
projects
.
Therefore
, I believe belonging to enterprises is a better choice.
Submitted by r.sakamoto126 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: