IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
The given bar graph illustrates the amount of money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on client items (cars, computers, boots, perfume, cameras)
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
France
 and the
UK
. The data
Add a missing verb
was given
show examples
given
Add the auxiliary verb
are given
show examples
 in thousands
pounds
Change preposition
of pounds
show examples
 sterling in 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the number of spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cars, books and cameras for the
UK
 was higher than the same figure for
France
.
However
, the quantity of spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
camputers
Correct your spelling
computers
 and perfume in
France
 was bigger than the same indication for the
UK
. The
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
amount of money spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in
France
 (400) was lower by about 60 as high as
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
UK
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
 figure for
Add an article
the consumer
a consumer
show examples
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 in
France
 for books (300) was more considerable than expenditure in the
UK
.
Following
this
, a 200 gap was the case in the figures for higher expending in the
UK
 and
France
 (around 150). The amount of
expending
Replace the word
expenses
show examples
 for
camputers
Correct your spelling
computers
 in the
UK
 (approximately 250) was a little lower by about 10 than the same figure for
France
.
Furthermore
, the quantity of spending money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
UK
 was nearly as high as the same index for
France
 (200).
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: