Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by many that it is the doctors' responsibility to educate their patients about the ways by which they could ameliorate their
health
conditions. I totally agree with
this
stance for economic and
health
reasons. The first and
also
the most crucial reason why physicians ought to improve their patients with
health
-related advice is that it would guarantee a better quality of life for them since they would learn the initial measures required to reduce the possibility of suffering from acute or chronic diseases.
Accordingly
, patients would be empowered with the ability to prematurely eradicate
potentially-fatal
Correct your spelling
potentially fatal
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illnesses. In Egypt,
for instance
, private hospitals provide their regular visitors with crucial instructions
such
as the optimum daily routine and healthy eating habits.
Moreover
,
such
a practice is beneficial for boosting countries' economies since when morbidity rates decline, authorities will not be obliged to pump more money into the
health
sector. Governments,
therefore
, will become able to financially subsidise other sectors
such
as education, industrial and agricultural sectors.
Further
and more importantly, though, citizens would enjoy the financial prosperity they entail
due to
reducing the amount of money wasted on
health
-related issues.
This
extra fund,
as a result
, would secure satisfactory living conditions for them and ameliorate their living standards by having the luxury of covering their essentials
as well as
their luxuries.
This
can be witnessed by England which holds the record as the country with the most satisfactory living standards
as a result
of regular doctors' consultations.
Additionally
,
such
a trend is able to pour into the benefit of the quality of service provided in various
health
institutions
such
as clinics,
public
Correct word choice
and public
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or even private hospitals since
such
development tends to reduce the pressure on these premises by reducing the number of everyday visitors. In conclusion, I am convinced that the merits of
health
practitioners' advice are indispensable for the good of civilians
as well as
governments.
Accordingly
,
such
an approach ought to be globally encouraged.
Submitted by ericssonsony551 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples related to the economic and health reasons mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly clear, but there are some points that could be developed further for better coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and vividly.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates good control of a range of grammatical structures, but more advanced structures and sentence variety could enhance the overall fluency and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • medical interventions
  • healthcare professionals
  • consultations
  • dietitians
  • health educators
  • literacy skills
  • visual aids
  • digital tools
  • reputable online resources
  • community programs
  • ongoing support
  • patient outcomes
  • initial guidance
  • mitigated
  • follow-up consultations
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