IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the government should fund and promote public transportation to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. Others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own transportation choices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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These days, people have various perspectives about traffic congestion's matters. A group of them think that the authorities have to spend money on public transit to solve them.
While
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 others think that the population ought to change their choices for solving obstacles. In my personal view, the first idea is the best one owing to the fact that it encourages inhabitants to use the clean method of transit and all of them have accessibility to them. On the one hand, the fact
that is
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 really important is that when the governments invest the budget in infrastructure and enhance public transportation, they provide an opportunity for their citizens to commute to their work or school with less time and money.
In addition
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, their investigation has a positive effect on the environment inasmuch as the amount of toxic gas, which vehicles emit when they are stuck in traffic jams, changes the climate.
On the other hand
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, if the community in one area alters their selection for transportation, the traffic jams and pollution will be minimized.
In other words
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, people use bicycles or walk for short distances or they travel with public transportation
instead
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 of their own cars to go to areas that have good accessibility.
As a result
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, not only sitting stops but
also
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 air pollution is reduced.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, the authorities' fund for the transport system creates a good position for all inhabitants to travel efficiently without wasting time and money , reducing an adverse effect on the environment ,and encouraging the population to use these systems.
However
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, people's selections can have a good effect.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define both perspectives in your introduction. This will provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively, such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'firstly'. This will help in enhancing the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This could strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that supports public transportation, which is well communicated throughout the text.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction lays a good foundation for the discussion by presenting both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation
  • pollution
  • infrastructure
  • urban areas
  • climate change
  • accessibility
  • social equity
  • personal responsibility
  • reliance
  • inefficiencies
  • preferences
  • sustainable transport
  • technological advances
  • electric vehicles
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