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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development
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In the meantime, cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
 grows sharply to change or improve their handsomeness. People start to consider
this
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surgery
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 as a way to upgrade their appearance and to copy the shape of
celebrity
Correct article usage
a celebrity
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.
Moreover
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, it is a positive
development
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 for those who suffered from a facial injury
,
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apply
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 or those with birth defects. A chance to improve their look and to make them feel blessed.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
 made
impact
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an impact
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 on
different
Correct article usage
the different
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 lives of
public
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the public
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.
It is clear that
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,
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apply
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 in our time appearance
surgery
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 increased dramatically it provide the opportunity to those who got damaged by several injuries
Correct word choice
and
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inresulted
Correct your spelling
resulted
in resulted
defects
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in defects
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 in their faces.
Furthermore
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, with new technology,
development
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, and methods
of
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apply
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,science produced an operation to fix the defects a person has.
For example
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, my older sister got injured by hot water
fromresulted
Correct your spelling
from resulted
 a harmful injury to her face and hands. Because of cosmetic ,
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surgery
Add a comma
,surgery
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 she had the opportunity to treat herself and heal herself.
To sum up
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, it is a positive
development
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 and will help society if they got a damaging wound in their body.
However
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, the negative side of
this
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surgery
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 is some
society
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societies
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 are
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
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doing
Change preposition
to doing
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 more. Every year they change their presence to become like a specific celebrity. Personally, I know a presenter name Halima Bolnd she used
this
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surgery
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 to choose a face every year and
this
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 is terrible.
In addition
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, in society nowadays some do cosmetics without a reason.
Finally
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,
although
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 it is a helpful
development
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, some see it
a
Change preposition
as a
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way to keep changing
display
Fix the agreement mistake
displays
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.
To conclude
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, yes it is a positive
development
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 but they need to put some rules in order to do it. It is people's right to choose what to do, but changing face every year is like having a new identity and personality.
Submitted by a7mdzh on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Idealized beauty standards
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Advancements in medical technology
  • Socially acceptable
  • Self-improvement
  • Psychological well-being
  • Competitive workforce
  • Youthful appearance
  • Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
  • Physical appearance
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