Some people hold that we should spend a large amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
some
people
envisage that it is better
for spending
Change preposition
to spend
show examples
much cash and
time
on preserving wild animals, others believe that human populations are more pivotal. I agree that it is wiser for
people
to allocate their
money
and
time
to human beings because of some reasons.
Firstly
, there are many social problems in society that must be overcome. In
this
modern era, many folks in certain areas still suffer from poverty, famine and water crisis. public should pay attention to those by donating their capital to charity organizations or participating in social events to
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive effects on them.
For example
, in Africa, many children deal with hunger which can lead them to have many health problems
such
as diarrhoea, stunting, and even death.
As a result
, if
this
circumstance
happens
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continues, a particular community will lose their young generation from
time
to
time
.
Secondly
,
people
should give their
money
and
time
to
education
.
People
with better literacy might gain the best quality of life. By giving
time
to teach some uneducated
people
, society can avoid them suffering from stupidness.
For instance
, the government can provide many scholarships for those who cannot afford to reach higher
education
because of a lack of
money
.
Therefore
, when
people
have a higher
education
, it might
easier
Add a missing verb
be easier
show examples
for them to get a better job.
Hence
, they can meet their needs and not be a burden to the country.
To sum up
,
although
protecting wild animals is essential for natural life, it is far more significant for
people
to spend their
money
on human beings because it can solve many serious problems and increase higher
education
on human populations.
Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on

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coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state your position on the given topic and give a brief overview of the reasons you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Support your arguments with more specific examples and elaborate on how allocating resources to human populations can solve the social problems mentioned.
coherence and cohesion
Include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position on the topic.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and provide a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • endangered species
  • ecological balance
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • intervention
  • ethical responsibility
  • natural heritage
  • pressing need
  • poverty
  • health crises
  • education
  • eco-tourism
  • sustainable agriculture
  • awareness
  • conservation efforts
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