the chart below shows the proportion of british students at one university in england

#proportion #british #students #university #england

A glance at the two charts provided reveals the percentage of

british

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British

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student

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students

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who spoke other

languages

apart from

english

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English

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at one particular university in 2000 and 2010.during these years most students

has

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have

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a tendency to speak other

languages

According to

the charts,the percentage of

student

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students

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in 2000 and 2010 who could not speak another

further

language were 20% and 10% respectively.

In addition

,the proportion of students who were able to speak two other

languages

and one another

languages

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language

show examples

in 2000 has slightly increased in 2010.

In both

Change preposition

Both

show examples

groups have seen

Correct article usage

a 5

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percent

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per cent

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grow

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growth

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in their pattern.

student

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a student

the student

show examples

who spoke Germany

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apply

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also

has remained in 10

percent

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per cent

show examples

in 2 decades.Meanwhile

french

Correct article usage

the french

show examples

language had marginally decreased from 15% in 2000 to 10%

in2010

Correct your spelling

in 2010

.Another

further

point that

highlighted

Add a missing verb

is highlighted

show examples

by the figure is that,the percentage of

student

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students

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in the university who

Correct your spelling

choose

choosed

Correct your spelling

chose

show examples

spanish

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Spanish

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as a second language was

biggest

Change the article

the biggest

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portion during these years with 30% in 2000 and 35% in 2010

Submitted by marzieh.kiani on Thu Mar 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words student, languages with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

156 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the chart below shows the proportion of british students at one university in england

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environment pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.