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Writing Samples
Band 6

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society.

#people #societies #drugs #today’s #youth #age #sociologists #parents #members #society #effects #drug
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In
this
Linking Words
 era of globalisation, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
drugs
Use synonyms
 has become popular
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 industry.
Due to
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this
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,
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of teenagers are taking
Use synonyms
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 both legal
or
Correct word choice
and
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 illegal
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
ege
Correct your spelling
age
edge
. Other parties think that family members are the major
contribution
Replace the word
contributor
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
drug
Correct article usage
the drug
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 consumption rate among junior citizens.
Thus
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,
this
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reasons and effects of widespread
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 by young
people
Use synonyms
 in today's community. In regard to the issue, the major causes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 by their surrounding. Since there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no age restrictions
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many social
platform
Change to a plural noun
platforms
show examples
 and poor monitoring from family these days, teenager find
drugs
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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interesting to
be play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 with.
For example
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, there is a lot of
drug
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 products being
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 television,
movies
Change preposition
in movies
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 and
advertisement
Change preposition
in advertisement
show examples
,
influence
Wrong verb form
influencing
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 to take part in
drug
Use synonyms
 activities without knowing the negative effect on them in the future.
Thus
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, paying attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our kid's activities can be helpful to mitigate
this
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 problem.
On the other hand
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, there are many
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
 consumption on teenagers. As we all know,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the drug
a drug
show examples
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
 can be beneficial and
also
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 dreadful to our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 or in
worse
Add an article
the worse
a worse
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 might cause death.
Youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
Youngsters
show examples
 tend to ruin their personal life and education.
For instance
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, they easy to get
fatigue
Change the verb form
fatigued
show examples
 and
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to score higher marks in
Add an article
the examination
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examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
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.
Moreover
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, studies show that
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 increases your risk of mental health issues
such
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 as anxiety, depression and psychosis.
People
Use synonyms
 with mental health issues
also
Linking Words
 have a higher rate of
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 problems. In the nutshell,
drugs
Use synonyms
 indeed help us in many ways.
However
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,
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 today are very lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
 exposure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the best approaches are to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 damaging effect and
thus
Linking Words
 for the government to implement
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full control on
Use synonyms
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
 either taken in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospitals or for media purposes.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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