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Band 6.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it better to invest in preventative measures” To what extent do you agree

#“prevention #cure” #diseases #measures”
Prevention is always better than cure
this
 statement is true . Investigating and
then
 treating
diseases
 is very costly
people
 should take care of their
health
 by taking some preventative measures
such
 as doing
health
 check-ups periodically , dieting and exercising. I totally agree with
this
 statement and
further
 in
this
 essay ,I will explain my thoughts with some examples.
To begin
 with , Some
diseases
 are not able to be diagnosed easily . Doctors advise lab tests on patients to find out the
disease
 and sometimes it takes more time to treat so the patients wouldn't able to get proper treatment because of
this
 reason sometimes
diseases
 become chronic.
For example
 , my neighbour had
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 body ache for three months but did not visit a doctor in the beginning now her
disease
 become chronic and she is not able to walk properly even though the doctor told her to take medicine throughout her life.
Secondly
 ,
For instance
 ,a medical intern student from Delhi University revealed that daily exercise or walking for 20 minutes, avoiding junk food , eat healthy food like fruits and vegetables will keep
people
 away from
disease
.
Moreover
,
People
 should go for regular
health
 check-ups to find any deficiency of vitamins in the body to get rid of
disease
.
To conclude
 , I believe that the government should start some
health
 awareness programmes so that
people
 are aware of
diseases
 and
then
 they can take the necessary prevention only. It will be useful for them in both ways whether it is related costing or prevention of
disease
as a result
people
 can lead a
disease
-free life.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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task achievement
Introduction could be more engaging and clearly define the essay's scope.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases between ideas to improve flow.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a recommendation.
task achievement
Examples are relevant and illustrate the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Main ideas are clearly identifiable and generally support the thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • cost-effective
  • public health
  • chronic conditions
  • life expectancy
  • emotional toll
  • vaccination programs
  • economic benefits
  • absenteeism
  • initial financial investment
  • public awareness
  • treatment viability
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