The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
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The diagram depicts the manufacturing process of making
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,It is a linear process and it
is consists
Change the verb form
consists
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of seven stages beginning with growing and
end
Wrong verb form
ending
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up with drying and cooling. In the first stage,
Sugar
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cane is growing
almost
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for almost
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12-18 months after that it is harvested and after
that
Add a comma
,that
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it is carried to a truck as a raw material.
Then
Linking Words
,It is crushed for taking juice .After collecting juice it is
then
Linking Words
carried to a limestone filter for
purify
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purification
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.Next,The juice
undergo
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undergoes
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through Evaporator to form
syrup
Add an article
a syrup
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.
Then
Linking Words
,It is carried to a centrifuge for
seperation
Correct your spelling
separation
separating
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sugar
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of sugar
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from syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
,
sugar
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goes through
drying
Correct article usage
a drying
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and cooling pot where
sugar
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is ready for packaging.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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