IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree

#countries #money #poverty #type #aid
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The gap between wealthy and unrich regions is a major problem in the modern world.If the poor nation gets
funds
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 from developed
money
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 not solve the
people
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's development unless they have an
education
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. In
this
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 paragraph we discuss it. Admittedly, wealthy
countries
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 donate
money
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 to poor
countries
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. They are using the
funds
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 for their food and water
instead
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 of
education
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.
Funds
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 Are useful in daily life activities.
Moreover
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, Poor
countries
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 do not have accommodation for their
people
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 .So they spend some amount of
money
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 on life.
For example
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, America every year gives
funds
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 to Sri Lanka for environmental collapses
such
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 as flooding and tsunami. But that nation is still poor . so must need some changes in the giving system. The best option is educational development for their country's
people
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.
Hence
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 , Rich
countries
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 must provide
education
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instead
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 of wealth .If they are given an
education
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then
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people
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's lifestyles will be changed. The teaching enhanced the community of
people
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's life.
For example
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 , the UK government announced free
education
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 for all foreign poor
countries
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. Most of the rural students are willing to join
this
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 scheme. They will develop their knowledge and study and they will be getting a bright future. It is a better way to solve the poverty problem in undeveloped regions. In conclusion, I reiterate that
money
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 does not bring
people
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 development. The teaching is most powerful for all
countries
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 getting their
people
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 wealth. In my point of view , developing
countries
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 must give
education
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 to poor nations not only financially.
Submitted by selvaselvi06 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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